ybee:
ive been laughing for the last half an hour because sun bears exist
help
Showing posts tagged Not Here
the cat that just casually fucking hiccuped and probably summoned the dark lord
omg the way that last baby hops!
(Source: ForGIFs.com)
timetravelandrocketpoweredapes:
Tester by Tom Burns
Prints available at Society6
When Doc Ock commits seppuku/hara-kiri for being honorless does he use 6 katanas, and what would that look like?
![fuckyeahwarriorwomen:
[ Image: A woodblock picture of an chinese woman, dressed as a pirate and holding a drawn sword. ]
tortitude:
goddessofcheese:
brofligate:
did-you-kno:
Source
There is literally nothing better than a sexy, badass lady.
CHING MOTHERFUCKING SHIH
This lady was such a badass, I can’t count the ways, but let’s try.
She got married to an already successful pirate, Zheng Yi, and took over when he died. She was crazy strict to keep an iron fist over her fleet of pirates, and the punishments for stepping out of line were brutal. If you stole or looted from a town that provided assistance or tribute to the pirate fleet, Ching would chop your fucking head off with a battle axe and dump your lifeless body in the ocean. If you stole from the pirate treasury, or she thought you were stealing from the pirate treasury, Ching would chop your fucking head off dump your lifeless body in the ocean. Raping any captured female prisoners was punishable by immediate death. Fuck, if you had consensual sex while on duty you got your head chopped off and the woman was chucked off the boat no matter where they were at. Ching wasn’t fucking around, and she wanted to make damn sure you weren’t fucking around when you should have been working.
Two years after she took over, she got so notorious for ransacking towns and taking taxes on them that she pissed off the entire Chinese government, and sent out a massive fleet to bring her in line. Most pirates probably would’ve said this was out of their pay grade and taken off to hide out or ransack some other country.
Ching Shih said fuck that.
She not only faced them head on, she wiped the floor with them, killing hundreds and capturing sixty-something ships from the Imperial Fleet. Prisoners were given the choice of joining up or being executed on the spot. The Admiral of the Chinese navy, Kwo Lang, was so afraid of being captured by her or going back to admit he’d been beaten by her that he committed suicide.
For the next two years, Ching Shih not only kept on pirating, she fought off Chinese forces as well as Dutch and British warships that the navy called in to help. Finally the government gave up and offered her amnesty as well as amnesty for her then SEVENTEEN THOUSAND crewman. Ching Shih got to keep all her plunder, so she retired to the countryside where she opened up a brothel and lived until she was 69.
tldr: I’ve come to terms with the reality that I’ll never be as terrifyingly badass as this woman was.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdi3wnXiDG1qkvbwso1_500.png)
[ Image: A woodblock picture of an chinese woman, dressed as a pirate and holding a drawn sword. ]
There is literally nothing better than a sexy, badass lady.
CHING MOTHERFUCKING SHIH
This lady was such a badass, I can’t count the ways, but let’s try.
She got married to an already successful pirate, Zheng Yi, and took over when he died. She was crazy strict to keep an iron fist over her fleet of pirates, and the punishments for stepping out of line were brutal. If you stole or looted from a town that provided assistance or tribute to the pirate fleet, Ching would chop your fucking head off with a battle axe and dump your lifeless body in the ocean. If you stole from the pirate treasury, or she thought you were stealing from the pirate treasury, Ching would chop your fucking head off dump your lifeless body in the ocean. Raping any captured female prisoners was punishable by immediate death. Fuck, if you had consensual sex while on duty you got your head chopped off and the woman was chucked off the boat no matter where they were at. Ching wasn’t fucking around, and she wanted to make damn sure you weren’t fucking around when you should have been working.
Two years after she took over, she got so notorious for ransacking towns and taking taxes on them that she pissed off the entire Chinese government, and sent out a massive fleet to bring her in line. Most pirates probably would’ve said this was out of their pay grade and taken off to hide out or ransack some other country.
Ching Shih said fuck that.
She not only faced them head on, she wiped the floor with them, killing hundreds and capturing sixty-something ships from the Imperial Fleet. Prisoners were given the choice of joining up or being executed on the spot. The Admiral of the Chinese navy, Kwo Lang, was so afraid of being captured by her or going back to admit he’d been beaten by her that he committed suicide.
For the next two years, Ching Shih not only kept on pirating, she fought off Chinese forces as well as Dutch and British warships that the navy called in to help. Finally the government gave up and offered her amnesty as well as amnesty for her then SEVENTEEN THOUSAND crewman. Ching Shih got to keep all her plunder, so she retired to the countryside where she opened up a brothel and lived until she was 69.
tldr: I’ve come to terms with the reality that I’ll never be as terrifyingly badass as this woman was.
(Source: masterpieceinchaos)
Brandon Graham pointed this out to me this morning: a page from Alan Moore’s Wildstorm Spotlight: Majestic paying homage to The Incal. I like this comic and never made the connection before.
MY ACTUAL LIFE.
om nom
Esta mujer es genial.
Oh, it’s so cute and empowering that you never had to grapple with a deadly mental illness! Congrats, special snowflake!
Oh sweetie. You’re adorable and your boobs are fantastic, but you don’t “try” to have a deadly mental illness.
Not eating != anorexia. Please get your language correct.
This. Please don’t trivialize mental illness to make a cheap joke about how you prefer eating. We all prefer eating. But when I was at my worst, I literally couldn’t. When I still slip up because this fucking thing never turns off you just try every day to over come it, I still can’t. I know ha ha ha foods tasty. But my brain doesn’t care. And hearing shit like this just makes people feel shitty, it doesn’t make anyone realize gee, you know you’re right what am I doing bagels are good! It just allows people who are in a privileged place of not having that mental illness to laugh at those of us who do. And why would you want to be that jerk?
